Wednesday, August 11, 2010


August 058

It seems that whenever I focus on, dream of, and strive for increased patience, (see yesterdays post!), than oh-so-much happens to help me learn patience.  Oh-so-much.  Yikes!  I’m not a super impatient person, I think I do pretty well…but I’m not a saint!  It’s usually the time between making dinner, and children asleep in their beds, that I’m inconsistent in the patience department.  The key for me is remembering to pause before I speak or react in any way.  I don’t count or anything…just take a breath and pause…then (try) to make sure I am speaking (tone and words) in a way that I won’t regret.  It’s a constant effort…some days tested more than others.  Yet always, despite my best efforts all day long, my evenings are often filled with musing and wonderings and twinges of guilt and regret at failed efforts for patience.  Someone once told me that guilt is a mothers constant companion.  And although I truly believe that there are other much more beautiful and impactful companions to mothers…guilt and wonderings of “what if?” lurk their ugly little heads in the corners.  At a moment that I was particularly overwhelmed with my imperfections as a mother, my own mother reminded me that my memories of my own childhood are happy despite an imperfect (in her mind!) mother.  It is good to be reminded of that. Because when all is said and done children are resilient and forgiving, and mothers are constant and loving, striving for happiness and all that is good for their children.  And so that is what will stay with them as they grow and someday become parents of their own little band of marauders, striving for their own increased patience.  I hold onto this thought as I go through my days…constantly pausing and practicing my own patience. 

If there is one thing I have learned as a mother, it is that there are infinite ways to mother.  After all…we are all different and have different children…so naturally our mothering is different!  There is so much to be learned from those around us living the same life in a different home!  I would love to hear how you practice and increase your own patience.  Do you pause, count, visualize something…?  Please share!!!