I love to knit. I am definitely still learning…and tear a lot of things out…and am lost in regards to many techniques. But I love to knit. It’s steady and constant and meditative. I love to feel the fiber through my fingers and watch something slowly and steadily take shape. The process is ever present…and is comforting.
I studied art in college. It was competitive and grueling in many ways…and fulfilling beyond measure in others. My first semester in the art program I took an observational drawing class from a German professor who studied at the Bauhaus. His methods and teachings were pure and intense. One of our first assignments was a pencil drawing that I spent countless hours working on. At the review for the assignment we were asked to stand and display our drawings and point out everything that was wrong with it…in case anything was left out the professor and class were then able to point out anything else we had done wrong. Nothing positive was to be said. Only criticism. It was horrifying and obviously impactful! Among the many skills I learned that semester was the ability to scrutinize each detail of my work. I fine tuned the skill of detecting imperfections. I learned to recognize and analyze the shortcomings in my skills and my work.
I did well in art school.
I learned to make beauty with a simple tool. I use those skills daily, treasure them, and endeavor to grow them.
Yet each day I work to fight the self scrutiny and rejection of imperfection that I fostered within myself while in school.
Mothering, schooling, creating, are all processes. There are not always end products that can be placed on display and judged. When the focus is on results the potential for joy is dramatically stunted. But, oh, if we can only focus on the processes. Oh the joy of the fleeting regular day-to-day with our little ones, the hours knitting, sewing, painting, creating. Embrace the process!
I love to knit.
I love to do so many things.
What do you love to do?